Be Bold
It has long been a rhythm to began my year by finding the word that I want to embrace. I spend weeks thinking and praying on what I want to hold onto as I step into a new year ready for all that it will hold-all that it will inevitably be. In 2022, that word was boldness. I started out the year with one goal, to Be Bold. It was the year, I was going to embrace all the “too much” and “not enough” that fills my existence, and boldly walk through the year in ways I hadn’t before. After deciding on the word, I often buy a necklace or other item to declare that word over myself as often as possible. That year, it was a planner. It was deep green cover with bold-black marks, and a quote by Robert Frost scribbled across the bottom, “Freedom lies in being bold.”
And in many ways, I was bold that year.
One way in particular looked like a 3,000 mile solo roadtrip, and along that journey to “Be Bold” is where I found my love for rainbows and prisms. It was September and I had spent March through August planning the solo trip of my dreams! I had started the trek home on the day that was one of my most anticipated parts of the trip. An airbnb in a tiny Colorado mountain town, nestled between two mountain ranges where the sun would set behind one and rise above the other. It was said to be a town with a “no light ordinance”, meaning that after a certain hour there would be no lights on and the night would be black. This meant the most gorgeous view of the Milky Way galaxy seen with the naked eye, in the quiet of the night. Only problem was, it had rained my entire drive that day and as I got closer to my location there seemed to be no sign of the clouds moving on. As I kept driving, I kept reminding myself of just how amazing the trip had been thus far. I knew at this point there was a chance I wouldn’t get to see a gorgeous sunset, let alone the Milky Way, and I didn’t want that disappointment to ruin all that the week had already held. I remember whispering in the car, “God, if I can just experience one of these things I am hoping for then my trip will feel complete. Just one.” That’s all I asked for. Then there it was, the most bold rainbow I had ever seen. I still remember the feeling when I first saw it. In that moment, I thought it may be all I get to see that day, and I wanted to savor that.
But, to make a long story short (I have a tendency to not be very good at the short part), the rainbow wasn’t all I got to see that day. By the time I got to my airbnb a storm came rolling down the mountain, and as it billowed in and the sun set across the way, I got to experience the most bold and vivid orange sunset I have ever witnessed. A few hours later, when I decided to take one last peak outside to see if the clouds had cleared, there in the stillness of the night were the most stars ones eyes could even imagine. I must admit, I shed a few tears in that moment. Some tears were shed at the shear beauty of it all, but mostly because I was bold enough to ask for what I thought I wanted and He was kind enough to give me just what He knew I needed. Not only did I get the sunset and the stars, I got the rainbow and the promise.
You see, I learned that boldness doesn’t always look like standing in front of a crowd, having a strong or vivid appearance, or even taking up the space in a room. I learned that boldness can sometimes look like courage. As an enneagram 6, courage is a word I am well acquainted with at this point; and the courage and boldness I learned to have that year looked like a lot like learning to have healthy boundaries with myself and others. It also looked a lot like slowing down, taking myself on a solo roadtrip, and finding me. The boldness to stare in the mirror and learn to love what was looking back. Being bold doesn’t always have to be loud, and courage—courage can be found in the corner of quiet room, in the car on a long drive, or even standing alone at the foot of a mountain. So even more than the loudness we often think of when we hear the word BOLD or when we see the bright colors of a rainbow, I learned that there is also a gentleness to be found.
-McKenzie 